REFUGEE INTERVIEW; DEALING WITH THE PAST.
It seems most everyone has bad memories and hard experiences in life. Somehow we all do. At the same time ,we realize we do not want to be kept hostage to our Past. Somehow human beings must make Peace about the Past. Today I am talking to Hearts and Hands for Refugees Canada- founder -about his past and how he has dealt with the memories and pain from this past.
Question: You know so much about Refugee situations. You heard and saw and experienced hard things in Thailand. People call you weekly from Thailand asking for help. Others send Text messages. You are very aware daily what happens on the other side of the World .How do you deal with all that?
Answer : In Thailand I felt heartbroken constantly. I heard and saw things I didn’t even know existed. I heard such stories of human cruelty. I thought people have lost their humanity and become animals. I started hating people who commit acts of violence against children, women and men for no reason. I did not want to hate people. I had to pray daily. I said: “God give me a heart full of kindness. Give me a heart that is able to love people even when I know these terrible things and hear these stories daily. God help me to stay Positive. God, I don’t want to become like the ones who hate. I don’t want to lose my humanity. Give me a heart of Love.”
Living in Canada and hearing from Thailand weekly is hard but I know hundreds of them personally .I know their stories and I pray for each one and Ask GOD to show me how I can help.
Question : You are in Canada but you still remember. How do you deal with memories ?
Answer : I pray- I ask God to help me. I talk to people. I go to Church .I do lots of Self Talk .I am a people person. I need to interact with people. I come from a Culture where we are never really alone. Being with people energizes me. I need that to stay in Balance. So I can put distance between past and present. I tell myself : You are in Canada. Not in Thailand- standing in a Food lineup for hours and when you get to the front of the line – there is no food left. That is over. You have a nice kitchen, now. You have nice furniture. You have clothes. It is time to be Thankful. I keep counting my Blessings daily and try not to forget how God has helped me. Sometimes Self -Talk works well. Other times not. Sometimes people get depressed. They go to a Dark place. Then I need others and they Pray till the heaviness lifts off me. Sometimes people talk the truth and it helps.
Question : Do you have nightmares ? Flashbacks from your life in Thailand ?
Answer : Yes, sometimes I wake up and the Dreams seem very real and vivid and you feel scared and panicky. I don’t have nightmares often but I do get them at times.
Question : Can you tell about one of those Nightmares ?
Answer : The Immigration Police would Raid buildings in the area of town where poor Thai people lived and Refugees. Often Thai people would warn us and we had to figure out fast what to do. One day – we got a warning that the Immigration Police were coming.
Right beside the building there was a Jungle. It is very dark at night and the Jungle has many snakes and animals and you really cannot see in front of you. There were branches on the ground and we ran in the dark. In the Jungle I prayed to God, please make us invisible. My brother and his family and my family ran to the Jungle. The Jungle had some single-family houses close to it. All of a sudden their dogs started barking. We were in an absolute state of terror. We ran and hid and stayed there until we felt it was safe to Return. This Dream comes back to me from time to time. I see our families running in the dark and worrying if we end up in prison. If you end up in prison…even kids go to prisons and babies. They are horrible places. Most people never get out. It is the biggest terror for all the Refugees.
When I hear about other people’s stories I always say that my suffering was not as bad as theirs. I compare my situation and see my life was not half as bad. I always wanted to help others. While I was in Thailand I helped other ,as well as now in Canada. It is my wish to help others find Freedom. God has been good to me but in a real sense healing takes time.
